According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
