just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
