on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's never too late to be topless.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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