Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless