If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy