so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize
