So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
