i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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