I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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