morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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