No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
