is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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