Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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