Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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