maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
