tell your sister to shave her snatch
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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