my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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