those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
