You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
