She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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