Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
