Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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