her vagine was all disorganized.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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