do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
