sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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