jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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