we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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