Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
