I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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