Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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