it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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