At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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