Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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