youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
