I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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