Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
