yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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