Where is the hickey?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
