she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
