Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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