Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
