i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
