It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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