she was so not down for the gang bang
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
