I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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