Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
