OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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