He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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