but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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