Do you still have your period?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".