they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
