Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!