I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Wow word travels fast.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?