I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
This is classic penis vs brain.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner