I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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