I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
