We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
