if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
