I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
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you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
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If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.