i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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