If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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