Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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