It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
