I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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