Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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