My hand turned me down
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
