jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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