That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
