So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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